Jeannette, what’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?
When I was 29 years old I left an engagement that looked amazing from the outside but that kept me up at night with the constant, feverish, unrelenting mantra: this is not right, this is not right, this is not right.
I lived on the other side of the country with a man who was seriously wonderful in many ways. My mom was thrilled. His mom was thrilled. My girlfriends were gearing up to be bridesmaids. My father thought he was an “excellent choice.”
Somehow, at the very bottom of my distressed heart, I knew that if I married this wonderful person I would end up living a life that was not truly my own. I had another vision for myself that tugged at my sleeve and scared me to death. Each morning I woke up with the same prayer: Dear God, please show me the truth and give me the courage to embrace it.
When I left the engagement I did so with only my dog, a couple suitcases, and my favorite books. I moved in with my parents (my parents!) while I sorted things out and found a place to live. It was humbling and depressing. People were shocked and disappointed and yet little by little, one authentic step in front of the other, I managed to build the life I envisioned for myself. I couldn’t see it then, but choosing love over fear, truth over comfort, blew the doors wide open to a life I can stand up straight in.
Latest posts by Jeannette Encinias (see all)
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