I have to admit: When I was a young girl, the mere thought of my vagina gave me heart palpitations.
I had so many questions, yet I was too terrified to ask them. Back in the 90s, I couldn’t just hop onto Google for an answer. My only modes of reference were the musty encyclopedias packed into an antique bookshelf in my family’s upstairs hallway.
And since those heavy, outdated blocks of uselessness weren’t disclosing any deep secrets about the mystery I carried between my legs, I didn’t really have any other places to turn…
Not only that, but the intimidated 13-year-old me didn’t really have the guts to ask anybody about my vagina back then. Seriously, how awkward would that be?
Nobody around me was flapping their gums about vaginas, so I figured I shouldn’t be either.
The most revealing glimpse I caught into how awe-inspiring a vagina could be was my mom’s reaction to my getting my period…
I was 11 years old. It was morning, and I was watching a cartoon and eating a bowl of rice and soup in my nightgown. I felt something weird happening down below, then I looked and saw a crimson line forming through my underwear. I screamed.
My mom saw what was happening, and she jumped out of her chair, elated. “You got your period!” she shouted out with excitement, nearly knocking me over as she grabbed my arm. “Let’s get you a pad!”
The woman was acting like it was Christmas morning, but honestly, I didn’t see the joy or beauty of the whole thing. And I didn’t really press her as to why it was such an exhilarating rite of passage. Likewise, she never started a conversation with me about it, either. I think it’s probably because even she herself might not have consciously been aware of how truly sacred the whole act of bleeding and vaginas and women’s sexuality really was. She felt it at an instinctual level, which is why she was so pumped when it happened to me…but she couldn’t find the words to vocalize her feelings.
And that’s the thing: Our culture’s unwillingness to navigate subjects having to do with menstruation and the V-word in a spirit of depth and openness is hurting us. Sure, Google’s got our back, and can clarify the things we’re too afraid to ask another person about, but that’s not enough.
Chances are, our young girls and women won’t be seeking out, much less even brushing up against, the deeper knowledge that is available to them about their sexuality. Flat-out: Our young girls and women have been disconnected from their vaginas, and cut off from experiencing their own sexuality in a deep, empowering, and transformative way.
In my mid-20s, when I discovered various eastern modalities, a huge door opened up for me. I poured hours of each day into studying and practicing the sciences of Tantra, Taoism, Shamanism, and Kundalini Yoga. Within these systems, I found a willingness to confront sexuality in a way that went beyond our culture’s obsessions with using sex to sell, objectifying women, and glorifying only the surface aspects of sex.
I finally “got it.” And beyond getting it, I felt it. Pleasure and sensation bubbled up in me as if coming from some deep, eternal spring. I finally understood that my sexuality was something to be enjoyed fully; not something to be awkward and silly about. And most importantly, I actually started loving and honoring my vagina like the badass that she was.
‘Cause when a woman grabs hold of the deepest, most sensual part of her being, when she understands what it means to truly walk, move, dance, and vibrate with a vagina between her legs, she taps into that very source of power from which she was birthed. It grabs hold of her at the core, and never lets go.
So Ladies, to inspire this sacred dance, let’s discuss 6 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina…
- The relationship you have with your vagina will define who you are in this world.
Shy away from it, deny it, shame it, abuse it, ignore it — and life will seem like one great big ball of frustration and heartache.
Love it, honor it, own it, nurture it, accept it — and life will welcome you into its arms like a soul-mate meant only for you.
In the ancient practice of Tantra, the vagina is worshipped as the place from which all life springs. Known as the Yoni in Sanskirt, the vagina is a source of creativity and energy. Tantrikas believe that women can discover their true power, confidence, and sensuality when they really start getting up-close and personal with their vaginas.
The key idea here is that sexuality is the energy that defines all of life on this planet. It’s how every single one of us got here, right?
We are made up of sexual energy, much as some (or many!) might try to deny it. That is who we are. We can’t run from it. So a woman who is disconnected from her vagina is completely cut off from her truest and utmost potential.
To develop a deeper connection to your vagina…
In private, place your hand on it gently for a few minutes a day to give it a little attention; not in a sexual way, just in an open and loving way. And just breathe and relax.
Takeaway: Ladies, be the force of nature that you are by loving your vagina. Never be intimidated by the power that’s there. Tune in to the sensation in it.
- The vagina is not the only Pleasure Center in your body, so don’t limit yourself!
Why does it sometimes feel like limits are being set as to the amount of pleasure that women get to feel?! Part of that has to do with the rumor that the vagina has only TWO types of orgasm ready to spring from it. Really?! Because the last time I counted, there were about a gazillion.
Seriously, the vagina alone has umpteenth places that can be stimulated for orgasm, including regions around the urethra, on the g-spot, and even deep at the vagina’s back wall. In addition, women have the ability to feel orgasm in their anus, thighs, neck, breasts, calves, feet, and brain. And that’s just for starters.
Breathe deep into your belly and pay attention to what comes up. When we start to notice the subtle energy there, we can dive in and expand upon it. And THAT’s how we can commence experiencing full-body multi-orgasms that Never End. Truth!
Takeaway: Ladies, your sexual energy is not just sitting in a box inside your vagina. It’s very alive, and flowing through every cell in the body, and the capacity for orgasm is tucked into crevices that we haven’t yet found/experienced.
- The way into a woman’s vagina is through her heart (chakra).
The heart and the vagina are inextricably linked. When a woman’s heart is open to her lover, it sends a signal down to her vagina. She immediately gets more lubricated, warm, and open down there. Meanwhile, the most direct way for a woman to open her heart is by surrendering to the sensations in her breasts, which are a part of the heart chakra. The breasts have a wealth of nerve endings in them, and are also connected to the vagina. If a woman channels her attention toward her breasts and concentrates on nothing else, she will experience a tremendous opening in her heart chakra, which will instantly make her vagina more open and comfortable.
Send a giant inhale down into your breasts, then allow your exhale to melt the inside of your breasts. Try this for just 5-10 minutes. You can do this before lovemaking, or even during! And It Will Skyrocket The Sensation In Your Vagina And Body By About 1000%.
Takeaway: If you want to experience more crazy-blissful pleasure during sex, put all your attention on your breasts.
- Emotional baggage can be stored in the vagina.
The second chakra in the body is located right below the navel. This is the Sacral chakra, and it’s the home of sexuality and emotions. The two are very much linked! This means that if you’re holding on to any negative emotions and/or neglecting to deal with upsetting issues that have occurred in your past, that unresolved energy will get tangled up with your sexual energy and get stuck in your vagina. Women who have problems with reaching orgasm or feeling any sensation down there are usually dealing with blocked emotions that they’ve yet to process. As soon as those emotions are confronted, they can be moved out of the body, at which point the woman will notice an increase in pleasure and lubrication in her vagina.
Takeaway: Don’t be afraid to confront your emotions. They get stuck in the vagina if they’re not looked at and processed out of the body. The trick is to not deny what you’re feeling. Allow yourself to feel XYZ, for the sooner you can, the sooner it will leave you.
- A man can dump his own emotional baggage into the vagina through his come.
Word to the wise: Be conscious of whom you choose to have sex with! This one is soooo important. Whenever a man comes, he is letting go of his unresolved emotions. It’s almost like a re-set for his own body and spirit. So men release their emotional baggage into the women they sleep with. Afterward, he’ll feel lighter and more relieved, while she feels heavier and a little more burdened.
Unless a woman knows how to process these emotions out of her body (by way of movement, breathwork, meditation, etc.), they will simply sit there, causing her to feel stuck, and even depressed, angry, and/or confused.
Takeaway: Be extra sure you know and understand any man whom you choose to allow inside of you. Make sure that man is someone you care about, and someone who you are fully prepared to take into your world. Because they will become energetically attached to you at the deepest level possible, whether you like it or not! Ideally, choose a partner who makes you feel like the best version of yourself, and who treats you like the goddess that YOU ARE.
- Reflexology points on the vagina connect to ALL parts of the body!
This is one of my favorite tidbits about the vagina! Just like the hands and feet, the vagina bears a map of points that correspond to all different parts of your body. By actually stimulating certain points on the vagina, you can clear a headache, ease an upset stomach, soothe a backache, or what have you.
Either give yourself, or ask your partner to give you, a nice rub up-and-down the length of your vagina; it will actually feel as if you’ve had a FULL BODY MASSAGE. That’s because you’ll be hitting every single body part/organ on the vagina’s map. Note: Make sure to hit all the areas right along the outside of the vaginal lips. Seriously. In the name of all things blissful, I beg you to try this. It works wonders if you need a quick body tune-up!
Takeaway: Body-wise, your vagina holds a map to EVERYTHING!
The most important thing to remember about your vagina is that it is a living, “breathing” source of electricity that impacts every cell in your being. Be conscious about who you’re sharing it with. Be conscious about what emotions you’re allowing into it. Be conscious about how much attention and love you’re throwing its way.
Your sexual energy is dynamic. It has a pulse. It informs the way you live your life. You can either live it in a maze of apathy and numbness, or you can live it in a sweet space of acceptance, liberation, and orgasmic delight!
Guess which one I’d like to see you choose?